You know, I thought I was ready and that I would have a sane and relaxed sense about this pregnancy and coming birth. But in reality I fooled myself. There is so much to do to prepare for this massive and so blessed change of life. I have to keep up with regular doctor visits, watch what I am eating, declutter and clean the house, shop for a whole other human being, prep a space for this new human being, find a pediatrician, day care, plus one or two babysitters for those times when our schedules (my husband and mine) don’t cooperate and it is not during a weekday, think about baptism location and sponsors, pick a name, spend time together, go to birth classes, engage my stepchildren in the process….there is so much to do and time is tick, tick, ticking.
I have felt similar feeling of time “rush” at other times – prepping to head to seminary, waiting for my first call, preparing for ordination, departing for my second call, buying a house, getting married…but this time is feels deeper, wider, heavier. And my anxiety grows – like most first-time moms – with questions of “Can I do this?” “Am I cut out for this?” I think most if not all of us have lived these questions.
As I live these questions two verses comes to mind that help me – even in the faintest way – to relax and breathe.
I hereby command you: Be strong and courageous; do not be frightened or dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. – Joshua 1:9
Then he took a little child and put it among them; and taking it in his arms, he said to them,‘Whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me, and whoever welcomes me welcomes not me but the one who sent me.’ – Mark 9:36-37
Go has given and will continue to give us the strength we need for the call we have received to be parents…and in that call we will see in a new way the very one who created us. This is my prayer as I enter into this coming week.
Pastoring Momma 